My father has small eyes,Wear a pair of glasses,looking more gently,the daddy's hair are not many, he said "the intelligent head does not grow hair"，daddy does the management, but daddy usually ever not talk bureaucratically to others, therefore his personal connection is specially good,is the same as me.daddy speaks always extremely temperately,never say hit the person,curse at people are also few,calculated scolded people not to be big, although sometimes also can be angry for a longtime,but just only about one day,could no surpass in one day-long.

He usually educate me that the person must to be honestly,friendly to other,and working diligently.

This is my father, I love him forever.

点评：

总体：这篇文章的第一段是一气呵成的看，即一逗到底。这在英文当中是不可取的。写该篇文章的考生是有一定的词汇量的，因为文章出现了很多不错的词汇，但是文章的语法，则是完全错误的。如果这篇文章给外国人看，他们肯定是不知其所云。可以说这篇文章是完全将英文词汇按照汉语的语序拼接而来的。

分评：

1)词汇：小作者的词汇量不错，里面出现了很多高级的词汇，例如，surpass(超过)、connection (连接，沟通)，temperately(暂时地)。这点对于小作者的作文是加分的。

2)语法：考生里面存在很多的语法错误，在这里列举其中的最大的要害加以说明：一逗到底。英文和中文的语法是不一样的。英文的主句里面只能出现一个动词，若要出现多个单词，则需要加连词。例如"My father has small eyes,Wear a pair of glasses,looking more gently,"应该写成：“My father has small eyes,and Wears a pair of glasses,looking more gently.”