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精彩对白

Julian: Good morning, Marley,

Marley: Oh, really. Is it? I'm about to get a huge camera stuck up my butt. So I don't know if that qualifies as good.

Julian: I just need you to sign this document which states that you understand all the colonoscopy's risks, which include heavy bleeding, uh, infection, perforation, rupture. 

Marley: On a scale of one to ten, one being 'never' and ten being 'happens all the time', what are the chances of you rupturing my ass?

Julian: Well, not. The chances are very slim. It's, uh, more procedural.

Marley: Good, well, procedure away, my friend. This is gonna be fun.

Julian: Would you mind rolling onto your left side, please. Thanks.

Marley: Wait a minute. Before we go to whatever base this is we're going to, um, shouldn't I know your first name?

Julian: Julian.

Marley: Julian. Julian Goldstein. My hero. Where the hell am I?

God: Hello, Marley.

Marley: Oh, my God. Wait a minute, Oh, my God. I mean... Are you God?

God: Not really. This is just the way you wanted to see me.

Marley: Well, I love Whoopi, so that's probably why.

God: Yeah, me too. Oh, have a seat.

Marley: I can't believe this.

God: Guess what? You're dying.

Marley: I am not dying. I'm just a little stressed, that's all.

God: Marley? You're dying, but I'm gonna give you three wishes.

Marley: Then I want to fly.

God: Okay. Done.

Marley: Wait a minute. This is for real? I want a million bucks.

God: Alright, but I just have to warn you that that is only gonna be 500,000 after taxes.

Marley: Just 'cause I didn't say 'tax free'? 

God: Even I don't mess with the IRS.

Marley: That sucks.

God: Third wish?

Marley: Okay. Let me think,

God: Tic-toc, baby.

Marley: Don't rush me. Jesus.

God: Hey, hey, Wow.

Marley: I'm sorry.

God: You said it, didn't you?

Marley: Yeah, I did. I don't know. I don't know what I want.

God: You know. You just don't want to admit it. But I'm pretty sure that if you give it some thought, you'll figure it out.

Julian: Marley. Marley. Marley, wake up, It's over.

Marley: What's over?  Where am I? Where's Whoopi?

Julian: The procedure went fine. We're going to move you to the recovery room now. I took some biopsies. We should get results in a few days.